Perfect Storm

Let’s just set the scene: Daycare is closed this week, Mike is working 12-14 hours days, I have looming deadlines and two children who apparently want food and stuff. Weather is total crap, hurricane-winds, tornado warnings, rain. My oven broke. Basically, it’s the end of days. I so badly want to dive into the cookies Rougie sent me. I want to stand over the stove and inhale peanut butter by the spoonful. I want to have a martini ready in hand as soon as another adult walks through the door. But I don’t. I keep in mind my goals. It’s hard not to quiet The Sad Fat Girl with cookies. But I force myself to remember: I am not her anymore. Those cookies and that drink will only fix Right Now. And the truth is that Right Now is just a blip. A tiny fragment of time in my day, my week, my life. During my race last Saturday, I was running with a friend. I kept yelling for her not to stop, the encouragement as much for me as for her. Don’t think of this moment. Don’t think of Right Now. It’s just a blip. Keep running. You don’t give up. You want this. You push. I went to change the toddler before nap and reached for a clean diaper. There were none. Not even one hiding in the back of the cabinet. None. How does a person who has been a parent for four years run out of diapers? I knew I had some in my car so I put Sawyer down, just a shirt covering his all-too-spindly body. “Stay here. Momma has to run to the car. Charlotte, make sure Sawyer doesn’t shave the cat or something. I’ll be back in 10 seconds.” I ran out the front door, making sure it closed behind me. The wind has been so strong, it’s blowing it open if I think it’s latched. I jog the 15 feet to the garage and grab the extra package of diapers I keep in my car. I turn and look and see my naked-from-the-waist-down two-year old standing on the sidewalk. My first reaction: panic. “Sawyer, don’t move. Stay on the sidewalk!” My god, it was 8 seconds. I should have locked the door. This could have been so much worse. Second reaction: My kid is naked. Outside. This day sucks. Then he yells as loud as his little voice will yell. “Okay, Momma! MY PENIS IS COLD! It needs a slipper. Brrrrrrr!” Sometimes the bad blips turn into ones that make this whole gig worth it.
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12 comments on this post.
  1. Barb:

    So scary yet so hilarious at the same time.

    Good for you for sticking to your goals.

    Good to remember “just a blip” though. I personally use the “will this still be an issue a week from now?” 99% of the time….it’s a no.

  2. Kellie:

    I SUCK at remembering it’s a blip. I’d have inhaled the cookies and drowned myself in vodka.

    Which is why I’m horrible at sticking to things I set out to do.

    Stories like this make me laugh. And, on a night like tonight, I desperately needed that. Thank you!

  3. Sarah:

    Heck I am the fat girl with the cookies most of the time! But like you I’m learning that stressors are just moments…and they pass.

    P.s. ‘my penis is cold. It needs a slipper’ totally made my night!

  4. Erin:

    Hilarious! Right there with you on the end of days wind – it’s been crazy all day with the power outages, downed lines and tornado warnings! And good for you for sticking to it – I too am learning to back away from the cookies when the stress hits.

  5. SciFi Dad:

    So then you took him inside and showed him the cover to that Red Hot Chili Peppers CD, right?

  6. Leandra:

    Yeah, yeah, yeah — we’ve all heard men use that excuse “my penis is cold.” LOL

    As you know, I’ve been having kind of a rough week this week and on the way home yesterday I was searching the radio for something to listen to and I came across OK Go’s “This Too Shall Pass.” If you haven’t heard it, go listen to it. Man, I turned that radio up and sang along the whole way home. What an awesome song and a good thing to remember — this too shall pass.

  7. Ula:

    Hi :D Is it OK if I go a bit off topic? I am trying to read your page on my Mac but it doesn’t display properly, do you have any suggestions? Thanks in advance! Ula x :)

  8. Alissa:

    Thanks so much for a good chuckle this morning. I’ve been repeating to myself over and over again lately ‘This too shall pass’. I have no clue what comes next, things could get better, or worse. But whatever I’m dealing with right now, it won’t last forever.

    Ula – I’m on a Mac too, so I doubt it’s a Mac specific issue.

  9. joaaanna:

    OK – that actually made me laugh out loud!

    I’m going to have to remember, ‘it’s just a blip’… because I’m struggling so hard right now. Thanks for those words – you didn’t know you were gonna help someone today, did you? :)

  10. Cherie:

    I will remember “this is just a blip!”
    The visual you gave me made me laugh out loud!
    Hope your day is better!
    {{hugs}}

  11. Amy:

    OMG! What a terrible day, but you totally cracked me up. I have a 3 year old boy and I can just see him doing something similar.

    You are strong, you can do this! You rock!

  12. Anne:

    I’ve had weeks (not days) like that. If it’s not one thing, it’s another and I find myself laying in bed, pondering my sanity. And then my kids do something funny or my 2 year old says something funny and then I remember why I stay home with them, sanity or no sanity.

    But yeah, your story reminds me why I always lock the front door when I step outside. I know the one time I don’t, I’ll find my three year old dancing naked in the street

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