Perfect Storm

Oct 26, 2010 by

Let’s just set the scene: Daycare is closed this week, Mike is working 12-14 hours days, I have looming deadlines and two children who apparently want food and stuff. Weather is total crap, hurricane-winds, tornado warnings, rain. My oven broke. Basically, it’s the end of days.

I so badly want to dive into the cookies Rougie sent me. I want to stand over the stove and inhale peanut butter by the spoonful. I want to have a martini ready in hand as soon as another adult walks through the door. But I don’t. I keep in mind my goals. It’s hard not to quiet The Sad Fat Girl with cookies. But I force myself to remember: I am not her anymore.

Those cookies and that drink will only fix Right Now. And the truth is that Right Now is just a blip. A tiny fragment of time in my day, my week, my life.

During my race last Saturday, I was running with a friend. I kept yelling for her not to stop, the encouragement as much for me as for her.

Don’t think of this moment. Don’t think of Right Now. It’s just a blip. Keep running. You don’t give up. You want this. You push.

I went to change the toddler before nap and reached for a clean diaper. There were none. Not even one hiding in the back of the cabinet. None. How does a person who has been a parent for four years run out of diapers? I knew I had some in my car so I put Sawyer down, just a shirt covering his all-too-spindly body.

“Stay here. Momma has to run to the car. Charlotte, make sure Sawyer doesn’t shave the cat or something. I’ll be back in 10 seconds.”

I ran out the front door, making sure it closed behind me. The wind has been so strong, it’s blowing it open if I think it’s latched. I jog the 15 feet to the garage and grab the extra package of diapers I keep in my car. I turn and look and see my naked-from-the-waist-down two-year old standing on the sidewalk.

My first reaction: panic.

“Sawyer, don’t move. Stay on the sidewalk!”

My god, it was 8 seconds. I should have locked the door. This could have been so much worse.

Second reaction: My kid is naked. Outside. This day sucks.

Then he yells as loud as his little voice will yell. “Okay, Momma! MY PENIS IS COLD! It needs a slipper. Brrrrrrr!”

Sometimes the bad blips turn into ones that make this whole gig worth it.

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12 Comments

  1. So scary yet so hilarious at the same time.

    Good for you for sticking to your goals.

    Good to remember “just a blip” though. I personally use the “will this still be an issue a week from now?” 99% of the time….it’s a no.

  2. I SUCK at remembering it’s a blip. I’d have inhaled the cookies and drowned myself in vodka.

    Which is why I’m horrible at sticking to things I set out to do.

    Stories like this make me laugh. And, on a night like tonight, I desperately needed that. Thank you!

  3. Heck I am the fat girl with the cookies most of the time! But like you I’m learning that stressors are just moments…and they pass.

    P.s. ‘my penis is cold. It needs a slipper’ totally made my night!

  4. Hilarious! Right there with you on the end of days wind – it’s been crazy all day with the power outages, downed lines and tornado warnings! And good for you for sticking to it – I too am learning to back away from the cookies when the stress hits.

  5. So then you took him inside and showed him the cover to that Red Hot Chili Peppers CD, right?

  6. Yeah, yeah, yeah — we’ve all heard men use that excuse “my penis is cold.” LOL

    As you know, I’ve been having kind of a rough week this week and on the way home yesterday I was searching the radio for something to listen to and I came across OK Go’s “This Too Shall Pass.” If you haven’t heard it, go listen to it. Man, I turned that radio up and sang along the whole way home. What an awesome song and a good thing to remember — this too shall pass.

  7. Ula

    Hi :D Is it OK if I go a bit off topic? I am trying to read your page on my Mac but it doesn’t display properly, do you have any suggestions? Thanks in advance! Ula x :)

  8. Thanks so much for a good chuckle this morning. I’ve been repeating to myself over and over again lately ‘This too shall pass’. I have no clue what comes next, things could get better, or worse. But whatever I’m dealing with right now, it won’t last forever.

    Ula – I’m on a Mac too, so I doubt it’s a Mac specific issue.

  9. joaaanna

    OK – that actually made me laugh out loud!

    I’m going to have to remember, ‘it’s just a blip’… because I’m struggling so hard right now. Thanks for those words – you didn’t know you were gonna help someone today, did you? :)

  10. I will remember “this is just a blip!”
    The visual you gave me made me laugh out loud!
    Hope your day is better!
    {{hugs}}

  11. Amy

    OMG! What a terrible day, but you totally cracked me up. I have a 3 year old boy and I can just see him doing something similar.

    You are strong, you can do this! You rock!

  12. Anne

    I’ve had weeks (not days) like that. If it’s not one thing, it’s another and I find myself laying in bed, pondering my sanity. And then my kids do something funny or my 2 year old says something funny and then I remember why I stay home with them, sanity or no sanity.

    But yeah, your story reminds me why I always lock the front door when I step outside. I know the one time I don’t, I’ll find my three year old dancing naked in the street

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